I have had thoughts of committing suicide in the past, but they are more present and persistent now than ever before. I have known Soldiers who took their lives after returning from war. I don’t want to do it, I don’t want to bring pain to others, but I don’t want to live with the way I’m feeling. It is May 24, 2021, graduation day for PCVI. There is so much I would like to share with you about this course… this, it seems, is life: Small choices with big implications. I made a small choice to enroll in PCVI and it has had an enormous effect on me. Thank you.

Thank you to PCVI for opening up the humanities to me. I gained historical knowledge and the study of the arts have given me catharsis just like the plays of Sophocles and Euripides did for the Greeks 3000 years ago. The value of PCVI cannot be understated.

In the PCVI we read Plato. Plato gives us the Allegory of the Cave where two Philosophers talk about someone who has walked out of darkness into the glaring light of reality. Veterans have seen some of this harsh reality and learned some painful lessons about themselves, their friends and the cruelties of the wide world, some that leave scars. Perhaps the most valuable gift we have to give to our civilian communities is to share those scars so that our communities can grow stronger. Plato would have us go back into the darkness of that cave and share what we’ve learned.

“I am a combat veteran of the Vietnam War. I came to the PCVI through a suggestion made to me by my PTSD counsellor at the Providence VA Hospital. She had always been trying to find ways to push me to go outside my comfort zone, and thought that taking this course would fit the bill. It was here at PCVI that I first learned that there had been books written just about homecoming. Through reading and discussion, I learned that homecoming is complicated for all parties concerned…I have learned that conflicts like war have a humanities connection. I had never previously considered the importance of prose, poetry, art and filmmaking in relation to deciding to go to war or in support or protesting war. In particular, I read some poetry written by soldiers who fought in the trenches of WWI and translated their exposure to that horror into meaningful words that viscerally described trench warfare. I hated poetry until forced, at first, to read it because it was assigned. I was fascinated by my ability to identify with the authors of that poetry, Wilfred Owen and Sigfried Sassoon. I was so enthralled by my experience that I wrote my own…during a moment of reflection on event that happened 51 years ago, a moment frozen in time for me. Me, writing a poem? Incredible, yet I did it. The format of a poem seemed to fit my sense of what had transpired all those years ago. Thank you PCVI!

I learned a considerable amount about the feelings of my fellow veterans and no longer feel as alone in my own experience.

I was motivated by the opportunity to connect with other veterans and employ the humanities as a means to understand my/our military experiences…I benefited from the course in a number of ways. It helped me gain a better understanding of my military service and enabled me to view that service from a perspective that stretches back millennia yet has commonality with the difficulties veterans continue to experience today. It provided support for my mental health during a difficult time and offered the opportunity to build new relationships with other veterans. It brought out creativity that has been dormant in me for many, many years. It educated me and serves as encouragement for me to pursue further education in the humanities.” “The program is educational and inspirational. It improved my mental health and revived my creativity. It has been incredibly beneficial for me to be part of this program.

My exposure to the wisdom of these ancient historians, playwrights, and philosophers has been as illuminating as any educational experience I’ve ever had. Thank-you to you and your fellow educators for making this opportunity available to me.

I could not stop reading this assignment [“American Ajax”]. I don’t recall ever hearing about “Theater of War” but can certainly see how it might impact an audience of combat veterans and their families. Although it has been many years since my tour of duty in Vietnam, the emotions expressed by these people are something I readily relate to. My first marriage was totally destroyed, and my second, was severely affected, by my inability to grapple with my demons. It was only after I sought help from the VA that I was given a second chance by my family to assume my rightful place among the living. Sophocles knew exactly what he was doing 2500 years ago.

As a PCVI student I was presented with the opportunity to share my story…I was in a safe zone. With each passing class my feeling of safety increased as we moved forward in studying the Greek tragedies…Antigone, the subject of a Greek tragedy written by Sophocles, is a threat to the status quo; she invokes divine law as defense of her actions. She sacrifices her life out of devotion to principles higher than human law. This young woman was calling me. She was giving me direction and purpose. Antigone was pulling on my emotions as she was pushing me to reflect on my military experience…With this woman by my side, I was able to reflect on my Army career with the many challenges I confronted on a regular basis. Through the direction of our PCVI instructors I was able to now view the humanities through a different set of lenses in relation to my military experiences. I was able to engage in healthy conversations with my tribe and let my voice be heard. In spite of our varied military experiences, gender and branches, we respected differing opinions that were shared throughout this program. I am grateful to PCVI and my fellow veterans for making this connection possible. I encourage all veterans to take advantage of this opportunity to feed your brain and soul. Each professor and each one of my fellow veterans brought something special to the table. Our tribe will forever hold a special place in my heart.

I would recommend this course to any veteran able to take it. I think it’s immensely valuable in a way that every veteran could benefit from…I made real friends and changed my own understanding of what it meant to be a veteran, as well as learned a good deal of useful philosophy.

It is hard to put into words exactly what PCVI offers to ALL of us involved in it. This class is far more than just the study of war throughout the ages or looking at pretty pictures or sculptures. PCVI is a class that requires everyone involved to be introspective in ways we were too afraid, unable, or unaware to try before. It is a class that cares nothing about your race, religion, or political affiliation. It cares about us on a human level, something that is missing from the society in which we return to. When we come home, we are expected to act like we did NOT serve. The expectation is that we will seamlessly reintegrate with society, fit in, and move on as though however much time we served is but a distant memory of a story someone once told. Our families hope and expect us to be the people they remembered, as though our life’s journey has seen no shadows, only sunlight and rainbows. The truth is also that it is far from easy for us to talk about these things. Sometimes we cannot, we will not, or we do not know how any more or less than you do. We may want to talk, even if it is not to tell of events, but to talk about our thoughts and feelings developed as a result of those events. The Providence Clemente Veteran’s Initiative is our path to get there. Here, we can begin to build bridges with each other, and mend our fences and then traverse those bridges back in the ways we all hope for. Thanks to the PCVI, I am finally, after a decade post-service, beginning to not feel ashamed of it and have my parents here tonight as the start of what I hope will be the rebuilding of our bridge… if we do not advocate for the Providence Clemente Veteran’s Initiative’s continuance, our brothers and sisters in service may never be able to find the puzzle their piece belongs to, and we could lose them to addiction, disease, or violence.

There are times the class can be difficult for us…But at the same time, I firmly believe the catharsis available from getting in touch with ourselves and our thoughts/feelings in ways we may not be used to can be helpful beyond the understanding of those that write the checks. The fact is, the PCVI class offers us things that we cannot find elsewhere….a connection to not only the past and soldiers of yesterday, but to ourselves and our brothers and sisters in arms that feel as lost as we do. It affords us the chance to really explore the depths of humanity and war, the ramifications on societies that themselves are unaware of the effects.

I’m truly thankful for this class and everyone in it, no matter how hard it can be at times. Introspection is not easy, but it is necessary for self improvement and growth.

I joined PCVI and it’s helped me to begin to understand the nature of that Weight…that necessarily rests on the shoulders of every service member who makes it out alive…We discuss art, poetry, philosophy, and history, starting all the way back from Ancient Greece and coming up to the modern day. But we don’t just talk about war, we talk about veterans, and movements, and revolutions, and the effects those things have on the world and on ourselves. We acknowledge the Weight, we attempt to define it, and show its curves and its points and its edges, and by doing so, together, we also help to lift its burden from one another. PCVI is a group of veterans discussing the philosophical nature of the word that defines and unifies us, and which many of us felt separated us from others, and sometimes even from each other. By engaging unflinchingly with this material, both mentally and socially, PCVI brings forth meaningful discussion on both an emotional and an intelligence level that one would be hard pressed to find in any form of school or therapy alone. Simply put, it is both, and its value cannot be stated in dollars, but rather can only be understood through the changes it invokes in the lives of those it touches. PCVI exists to help lift the Weight, and is an uncommon good in a world that is often far too heavy to bear.